Kiss and tell

.I woke up today and remembered one little detail of the whole thing.

.remember that one text message when you said, ' you're the last person on earth that I would want to hurt'.

.i wonder what happened to that.

.what happened to that person.

.guess that was one promise I hoped you'd keep.

According to me

She is beautiful and talented and funny and remarkable and everything you would want in a friend. And I love you to bits, Lina Arina.

Sun shines

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes me smile, what makes happy. Simple things really. Like when :

The way the sun shines through my window every morning of every single day.


It made me smile.


Or when my mum does this simple acts of love, unintentionally; calling me saying, leaves her favorite chocolate for me, wakes me up EARLY every morning just so I can see her off to work, and sometimes just being like an annoying ten year old kid on sugar rush.


It made me smile.


Or when she gives me this GORGEOUS smile of hers that is so powerful, you can't help but to smile back.


It made me smile.


Or when my dad tells his god-awful jokes, even though he knows its not.


It made me smile.


Or when I call monster two, all the way in aussie, and she answers, ' NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'.


It made me laugh and smile like a buffoon.


Or when my best friend, tells me random stupidity about her day.


It made me smile.


Or when I look at my kid nephew, Syahmi.


And I thought to myself, how calming it is, just by looking at him.


It made me smile.


Or when my friends tell me I've helped them in some way.


It made me smile.


Or when Maktok tells me, ' Maktok senanglah arina ada kat sini this week, teman Maktok '


THAT..that made me smile the brightest.



*



So I guess at the end of the day, nothing else mattered



:))))

Frocks and poppycocks III

Feels like my head is about to explode.











*BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*























































Kidding.






*falls off chair*

The purple flap dress

I like it more back then. when the world that i know now, is much less of a scary place, much less of a shit hole. oblivious to all of its complexities. when right is just right, and wrong is plain wrong. an obvious two. it's vague now, there is a fine thread that separates the good and the bad. then you have the difficult in between, the ugly and the reality of things. what you see, is never what you get. they say, what you don't know, won't hurt you, so i deliberately ask -" really now? that's just fucking denial" . sometimes our faith shakens under the unspeakable truth, and you are left uninvited, pondering in the corner. what do i believe in these days?

The fight gets tougher, the problems ain't petty, the drunk don't get any wiser. and economics ain't getting any easier.

it slowly didn't matter anymore. hye, i'm here, same-o me.i've been on hiatus fer some time, i choose this , i choose to be invisible ( at least to you). you should know, i'm alive, definitely better than the time before. not that it would do any difference. not that its of any significance, but i promised to be a friend, and i am still here. i hope you're happy, i am not bitter. maybe immune would fit in just perfect. this thing in me, the one that beats every half a second, it shrunk . so small that i don't think i have space fer resentment. i don't resent you fer all the things you did or didn't do. my heart is an empty room, and i'm waiting fer my IKEA.

Iam s till miss in gyou after all this time I know its been awhil



people are like clothes. your heart jumps at the sight of that new dress on a mannequin, try it shall we. it fits, more than perfect on you. then after some time,it may look just as exact, but when you put it on, it just feels different. it's not that the materials changed, the elements, the sewed on string, the buttons, the pins, the ruffles, the detailed lining - nada, nothing's changed but the colour fades, worn too many of a time. it used to be a favourite, now its in those piles of forgotten draggy cloths. it served you well, even a little more than expected. but it just wears out.

Alhamdulillah..

Funny how things turn out at the end for me. Unexpected friendships are developed, some are lost due to unforeseen changes and old ones are rekindled. Funny how the world works. And He does work in wonders. I wasn't able to see it back then, now I am grateful for what I've been through. It wasn't a walk in the park. It wasn't a bed of roses with ice-creams and chocolates but I am glad that I went through with it. You see, last semester, middle of this year, I had the shocked of my life. Back then, everything was perfect. At least, at first it seemed that way..to me anyways. I thought I had everything that I could ever dream; two awesome best friends, humanoids that I could relate to, a reputable reputation and a fairly-good-enough academic status. Turns out I was completely off. I have my two complete sets of best friends, but the humanoids? Turns out there were some only so-called friends. And guess what, I wasn't graduating anymore. Awesome, ain't it?

At the start of the semester, I was fighting with a hell lot of people. To a point that I had issues with the whole freaking world. I mean I already knew that this was a messed up world; full, of ignorant people. Over the years, instead of beating the system, I went with it. Look where it got me. Damaged, insecure, paranoid and a bitch.

*TADDAAA*

This time however, I came out, a bazooka in one hand and a sniper in another. Oh hell yes, I hated every single minute I was there.

*smile* actually the only thing that kept me there (meaning sane, zero killing mode and happy) is the dorm mates and my best friends. Both of which are awesome with various personalities that I cannot describe. They have helped me in every possible way. They are my support system. I have about 21 people in the room, and EVERY SINGLE one of them have, in one way or another, motivated me and kept me stronger; both, mentally and physically, and more focused than ever. I love them so much. They are very much like my family. They have faults, they are not perfect, but I would not want it any other way.

So now, fast forward five months and 12 days today, i am finally graduating and be going to someplace else. All thanks to them. I miss them terribly, and it's so weird not waking up to their shrieking voices in the morning, the rush of everyone getting ready for classes, the 'wedang's during the evening, the late night Nescafes and movie, the adventures, the dramas and them. Room e-1-10 taught me a lot. They gave me more than I imagined. Even thank you, seems insufficient somehow.

Karamellow

Kaaa-ching!!

And today the official letter arrives. I, however are not at home. I have been waiting patiently, unproductively at home. Doing almost always nothing! And it chose to come now..NOW when I am not at home. When I am 2000 miles away!! ERGHHHHH.

Now I am literally pissing all over my pants anxious to know what sort of Mahallah they're dumping me into. Plus, honestly, I have this teeny bit insecure that I might not get the letter at all. no solid reason why, but paranoia is taking over. I wish there is something that could take my mind off it for awhile. I have got two more gruesome days to survive till I am safely home. And that's when it gets worst. I don't know. I don't want to be there, I don't want to be here either. I. just. Don't. know. Which sucks, you know. I think it's probably because of the lack of human contact, plus the high intact of sugar, with too many 'biggest loser' shows. Oh well, soon I'll starting my new semester, in a new place with my best friends. I miss them a lot lah.

I have been tagged decades ago :]

Seven Things That You Dislike the Most:
1. Nilai
2. Expectations.
3. Not knowing what I want
4. Failure to impress
5. People who think they are better.
6. Fake people
7. Catching up with the past.

Seven Things You Like the Most:
1. ICE CREAM!
2. My Family.
3. Best friends ; no matter where they are.
5. WONDERMILK.
6. Any tasik, and believe me..ANY TASIK.
7. Beautiful artsy pantsy stuff.

Seven Important Things In Your Room:
1. Brownie + aussie.
2. Diaries ; old and new.
3. Closet.
4. The posters and arts on the wall.
5. Radio.
6. My AWESOME collection of books.
7. My BED.


Seven Random Facts About You:
1. I am impatient and unfocused.
2. I do the exact opposite just to piss you off.
3. I am the worst self critic known to mankind.
4. I self-destruct whenever I am happy.
5. People don't know half of the shits I've done
6. Yes, I even go against what I say, because I am systemized to do so.
7. I despise texting.

Seven Things You Plan to Do Before You Die:
1. Visit my sister in Australia, by myself.
2. Bungee-jumping!
3. Make my parents supeawesomely proud!
4. Be a teacher!
5. Touched someone's lives.
6. Be a clean, corporate wonder woman with pretty house and awesome car
7. Have a company!

Seven Things You Find Attractive in the Opposite Sex:
1. The way he looks. I AM VAIN (boo-hoo).
2. The way he treats me.
3. Charm.
4. The way we fit in each other's arms. *evilgrin*
5. The way he dresses.
6. Does not bore me.
7. VERY IMPORTANT : Just as passionate of things I'm passionate about.

Mornings

It was morning.

Mom told me I had to get up, since the sun was shining oh-so brightly.

Reluctant, but I got up anyways.

Bath, cleaned and ready for world domination. I WAS HUNGRY.

Eaten. Went to work : couch potato.

The magic box wasn't producing anything new. Searching the perimeters for anything that comes as close as interesting.

I found SOMETHING.

Turns out, I was the something.

*smiling stupidly*

-_________________-

frocks and poppycocks.

I was rummaging through my closet and found this :

" this is the final WARNING letter dated 18/07/2007, delivered specially to Illy Ooi Yi Li, beside Ng Jia Shiang, sitting on the third row of 5 Delima, Block B, SMKP St.George, Macalister Road, Penang, Malaysia, Asia, third planet from the Sun, Solar System, Milky Way. What you are about to be told is strictly confidential and it is to be completed on the 22^nd and 23^rd of October of the year 2007. If it is found that there are others who is informed about this, your blankie tie WILL be kidnapped, tortured and burnt into ashes. And if you are found guilty on telling the higher authorities a.k.a teachers, about this, your secret of having a relationship with Victor _____, 17, PFS, Penang, Malaysia, Asia, third planet from the Sun, Solar System, Milky Way, WILL be announced to the entire Georgian world. So please take this notice seriously, privately and strictly, and no giggling NO GIGGLING ILLY OOI!!!

So on the 22^nd and 23^rd of October 2007, you are required to carried out these procedures :

1. Get helium filled ballons (I have ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted one of these. Still haven't gotten them thoL )
   
2. Get multi-storey ice-cream chocolate cake ( yeeeessire, we both, love ice-cream+chocolate, and definitely when it is a ICE-CREAM CHOCOLATE CAKE)
   
3. A surprise party
   
4. P R E S E N T S, lots and lots of PRESENTS!!"
   

   
   

First off, I KNOW RIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT??? I mean what were we thinking back then? To be completely honest, Connie was the one who wrote this, I just supplied the details and basically told her what should be in the letter. FORTUNATELY, the letter was never delivered. I guess we both must have forgotten all about i

t by then. In our defense, this letter was written way way early of the year, and I think we were both busy with homework and assignments, not to mention, preparation for SPM. So yeah, none of actually came through. But we celebrated our birthdays together like always since we are the October babies, and I've known Conni

e since FOREVER. I love her to death that woman. I knew me and Connie, together, we could RULE the world. Aaah, good times good times.

You see, since we were the only two people in the class that are born in October, I came up with this brilliant beyond brilliant idea of a surprise party for us! It's

a surprise because….we were going to write (scratch that threaten) our class treasurer, simply because she's the one handling our money and she's a perfect. Thus, the chances of the plan becoming a reality, higher. Yes, it may seem pathetic conning people into doing a surprise party for you, who care! It was fun enough writing the letter.

Eh, toldcha I was a weird kid. Probably sho

uld have been more aggressive and threaten-ning like.

I miss DELIMAS and all its adventures.

Err..sorry?

Im trikaledeoiscopie sorry that I haven't been updating you. Its not that I don't have anything to rant about, believe me, I do. Its just that my brain doesn't slow down just a bit, for my fingers to catch up with it. You see, ive been having this problem that my brain works at the speed of light, and this is usually when all the wonderful words magically appear in my head but UNFORTUNATELY my fingers aren't as fast. So you see, this creates P R O B L E M.

:]

OR…

If you don't buy that ; your mind absolutely refuses to believe a word you just read, bottom line : Im a lazy chick that has zero things to write about. Whatever floats your boat.