onetwotreeramblings

The monster is back and ready for action. Truth be told, let’s just say you’re going to be hearing quite a bit from me, my screams, rumbles and rattlings. So, you can hold that against me, because right now I’ve got a lot of time on my hands.

Currently, I’m only doing one subject for this semester. Due to unforeseen errors made by monster and other party, I now have to pay my dues. Like missing out on my one month vacation trip to aussie with my monster sisters, wasting my fire-breathing skills for four months doing only one subject, having almost getting slaughtered the higher authority. But all of those weren’t that bad,compared to the look that my parents had when I told the news. Disappointment, hurt, ashamed, you name it, it was all there written on their faces. I felt like a knife had stabbed through my heart. I would do anything , ANYTHING not to have that look to be seen again. They were nice about it, you could see that they were worried. ‘ Where is my monster kid going to end up? Can she be trusted enough to manage by herself ?’ . But in their hearts, they knew they had no choice. They had too. I am a big girl now, so whatever decision that I make, is entirely up to me. I had to face the consequences and learn from it. They had to let me grow up. It was high time that they let go of that tight grip they had around me, the leash that they were holding.

Don’t feel sorry for me. Yes, the pair of them are very protective, strict, controlling and traditional in every possible way, but they are also, caring, loving, funny, intelligent and creative. What they did for me, they always had my best interest at heart. That is why, when I had to repeat the whole semester by doing only one subject they didn’t kick me for that. They knew, they wouldn’t have too. I had done the job myself, ten times worst and thought that was a good enough punishment. Instead, they guided me, advising and motivated me to never give up.

“ and suddenly our strength fails us. The temptation to resign, give it all up and conform tries to seduce us into the abyss. At that moment, an inner voice says don’t give up. Whatever happens, no matter how many times we’ve failed, there is always a new opportunity. The only valid watchword is to never give up ”

I’m not much of a hopeful monster. I’m a pessimist, skeptical at times and I never expect, because unfortunately, expectation ultimately leads to disappointment. That was how I run my life.. then. This time, it felt different. I wanted to hope for the best. And I want to look at life in a different way. I wanted to smell the bed of roses again.

Life with no risk, is not living at all.